简爱(英文版)-第37章

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was　mere　folly　to　attempt　the　interview　to…night；　and　alone。”
“I　thought　I　could　have　done　some　good。”
“You　thought！　you　thought！　Yes；　it　makes　me　impatient　to　hear　you：　but；　however；　you　have　suffered；　and　are　likely　to　suffer　enough　for　not　taking　my　advice；　so　I’ll　say　no　more。　Carter—hurry！—hurry！　The　sun　will　soon　rise；　and　I　must　have　him　off。”
“Directly；　sir；　the　shoulder　is　just　bandaged。　I　must　look　to　this　other　wound　in　the　arm：　she　has　had　her　teeth　here　too；　I　think。”
“She　sucked　the　blood：　she　said　she’d　drain　my　heart；”　said　Mason。
I　saw　Mr。　Rochester　shudder：　a　singularly　marked　expression　of　disgust；　horror；　hatred；　warped　his　countenance　almost　to　distortion；　but　he　only　said—
“e；　be　silent；　Richard；　and　never　mind　her　gibberish：　don’t　repeat　it。”
“I　wish　I　could　forget　it；”　was　the　answer。
“You　will　when　you　are　out　of　the　country：　when　you　get　back　to　Spanish　Town；　you　may　think　of　her　as　dead　and　buried—or　rather；　you　need　not　think　of　her　at　all。”
“Impossible　to　forget　this　night！”
“It　is　not　impossible：　have　some　energy；　man。　You　thought　you　were　as　dead　as　a　herring　two　hours　since；　and　you　are　all　alive　and　talking　now。　There！—Carter　has　done　with　you　or　nearly　so；　I’ll　make　you　decent　in　a　trice。　Jane”　（he　turned　to　me　for　the　first　time　since　his　re…entrance）；　“take　this　key：　go　down　into　my　bedroom；　and　walk　straight　forward　into　my　dressing…room：　open　the　top　drawer　of　the　wardrobe　and　take　out　a　clean　shirt　and　neck…　handkerchief：　bring　them　here；　and　be　nimble。”
I　went；　sought　the　repository　he　had　mentioned；　found　the　articles　named；　and　returned　with　them。
“Now；”　said　he；　“go　to　the　other　side　of　the　bed　while　I　order　his　toilet；　but　don’t　leave　the　room：　you　may　be　wanted　again。”
I　retired　as　directed。
“Was　anybody　stirring　below　when　you　r。　Rochester　presently。
“No；　sir；　all　was　very　still。”
“We　shall　get　you　off　cannily；　Dick：　and　it　will　be　better；　both　for　your　sake；　and　for　that　of　the　poor　creature　in　yonder。　I　have　striven　long　to　avoid　exposure；　and　I　should　not　like　it　to　e　at　last。　Here；　Carter；　help　him　on　with　his　waist…coat。　Where　did　you　leave　your　furred　cloak？　You　can’t　travel　a　mile　without　that；　I　know；　in　this　damned　cold　climate。　In　your　room？—Jane；　run　down　to　Mr。　Mason’s　room；—the　one　next　mine；—and　fetch　a　cloak　you　will　see　there。”
Again　I　ran；　and　again　returned；　bearing　an　immense　mantle　lined　and　edged　with　fur。
“Now；　I’ve　another　errand　for　you；”　said　my　untiring　master；　“you　must　away　to　my　room　again。　What　a　mercy　you　are　shod　with　velvet；　Jane！—a　clod…hopping　messenger　would　never　do　at　this　juncture。　You　must　open　the　middle　drawer　of　my　toilet…table　and　take　out　a　little　phial　and　a　little　glass　you　will　find　there；—quick！”
I　flew　thither　and　back；　bringing　the　desired　vessels。
“That’s　well！　Now；　doctor；　I　shall　take　the　liberty　of　administering　a　dose　myself；　on　my　own　responsibility。　I　got　this　cordial　at　Rome；　of　an　Italian　charlatan—a　fellow　you　would　have　kicked；　Carter。　It　is　not　a　thing　to　be　used　indiscriminately；　but　it　is　good　upon　occasion：　as　now；　for　instance。　Jane；　a　little　water。”
He　held　out　the　tiny　glass；　and　I　half　filled　it　from　the　water…　bottle　on　the　washstand。
“That　will　do；—now　wet　the　lip　of　the　phial。”
I　did　so；　he　measured　twelve　drops　of　a　crimson　liquid；　and　presented　it　to　Mason。
“Drink；　Richard：　it　will　give　you　the　heart　you　lack；　for　an　hour　or　so。”
“But　will　it　hurt　me？—is　it　inflammatory？”
“Drink！　drink！　drink！”
Mr。　Mason　obeyed；　because　it　was　evidently　useless　to　resist。　He　was　dressed　now：　he　still　looked　pale；　but　he　was　no　longer　gory　and　sullied。　Mr。　Rochester　let　him　sit　three　minutes　after　he　had　swallowed　the　liquid；　he　then　took　his　arm—
“Now　I　am　sure　you　can　get　on　your　feet；”　he　said—“try。”
The　patient　rose。
“Carter；　take　him　under　the　other　shoulder。　Be　of　good　cheer；　Richard；　step　out—that’s　it！”
“I　do　feel　better；”　remarked　Mr。　Mason。
“I　am　sure　you　do。　Now；　Jane；　trip　on　before　us　away　to　the　backstairs；　unbolt　the　side…passage　door；　and　tell　the　driver　of　the　post…chaise　you　will　see　in　the　yard—or　just　outside；　for　I　told　him　not　to　drive　his　rattling　wheels　over　the　pavement—to　be　ready；　we　are　ing：　and；　Jane；　if　any　one　is　about；　e　to　the　foot　of　the　stairs　and　hem。”
It　was　by　this　time　half…past　five；　and　the　sun　was　on　the　point　of　rising；　but　I　found　the　kitchen　still　dark　and　silent。　The　side…　passage　door　was　fastened；　I　opened　it　with　as　little　noise　as　possible：　all　the　yard　was　quiet；　but　the　gates　stood　wide　open；　and　there　was　a　post…chaise；　with　horses　ready　harnessed；　and　driver　seated　on　the　box；　stationed　outside。　I　approached　him；　and　said　the　gentlemen　were　ing；　he　nodded：　then　I　looked　carefully　round　and　listened。　The　stillness　of　early　morning　slumbered　everywhere；　the　curtains　were　yet　drawn　over　the　servants’　chamber　windows；　little　birds　were　just　twittering　in　the　blossom…blanched　orchard　trees；　whose　boughs　drooped　like　white　garlands　over　the　wall　enclosing　one　side　of　the　yard；　the　carriage　horses　stamped　from　time　to　time　in　their　closed　stables：　all　else　was　still。
The　gentlemen　now　appeared。　Mason；　supported　by　Mr。　Rochester　and　the　surgeon；　seemed　to　walk　with　tolerable　ease：　they　assisted　him　into　the　chaise；　Carter　followed。
“Take　care　of　him；”　said　Mr。　Rochester　to　the　latter；　“and　keep　him　at　your　house　till　he　is　quite　well：　I　shall　ride　over　in　a　day　or　two　to　see　how　he　gets　on。　Richard；　how　is　it　with　you？”
“The　fresh　air　revives　me；　Fairfax。”
“Leave　the　window　open　on　his　side；　Carter；　there　is　no　wind—good…　bye；　Dick。”
“Fairfax—”
“Well　what　is　it？”
“Let　her　be　taken　care　of；　let　her　be　treated　as　tenderly　as　may　be：　let　her—”　he　stopped　and　burst　into　tears。
“I　do　my　best；　and　have　done　it；　and　will　do　it；”　was　the　answer：　he　shut　up　the　chaise　door；　and　the　vehicle　drove　away。
“Yet　would　to　God　there　was　an　end　of　all　this！”　added　Mr。　Rochester；　as　he　closed　and　barred　the　heavy　yard…gates。
This　done；　he　moved　with　slow　step　and　abstracted　air　towards　a　door　in　the　wall　bordering　the　orchard。　I；　supposing　he　had　done　with　me；　prepared　to　return　to　the　house；　again；　however；　I　heard　him　call　“Jane！”　He　had　opened　feel　portal　and　stood　at　it；　waiting　for　me。
“e　where　there　is　some　freshness；　for　a　few　moments；”　he　said；　“that　house　is　a　mere　dungeon：　don’t　you　feel　it　so？”
“It　seems　to　me　a　splendid　mansion；　sir。”
“The　glamour　of　inexperience　is　over　your　eyes；”　he　answered；　“and　you　see　it　through　a　charmed　medium：　you　cannot　discern　that　the　gilding　is　slime　and　the　silk　draperies　cobwebs；　that　the　marble　is　sordid　slate；　and　the　polished　woods　mere　refuse　chips　and　scaly　bark。　Now　here”　（he　pointed　to　the　leafy　enclosure　we　had　entered）　“all　is　real；　sweet；　and　pure。”
He　strayed　down　a　walk　edged　with　box；　with　apple　trees；　pear　trees；　and　cherry　trees　on　one　side；　and　a　border　on　the　other　full　of　all　sorts　of　old…fashioned　flowers；　stocks；　sweet…williams；　primroses；　pansies；　mingled　with　southernwood；　sweet…briar；　and　various　fragrant　herbs。　They　were　fresh　now　as　a　succession　of　April　showers　and　gleams；　followed　by　a　lovely　spring　morning；　could　make　them：　the　sun　was　just　entering　the　dappled　east；　and　his　light　illumined　the　wreathed　and　dewy　orchard　trees　and　shone　do。
“Jane；　will　you　have　a　flower？”
He　gathered　a　half…blown　rose；　the　first　on　the　bush；　and　offered　it　to　me。
“Thank　you；　sir。”
“Do　you　like　this　sunrise；　Jane？　That　sky　with　its　high　and　light　clouds　which　are　sure　to　melt　away　as　the　day　waxes　warm—this　placid　and　balmly　atmosphere？”
“I　do；　very　much。”
“You　have　passed　a　strange　night；　Jane。”
“Yes；　sir。”
“And　it　has　made　you　look　pale—were　you　afraid　when　I　left　you　alone　with　Mason？”
“I　was　afraid　of　some　one　ing　out　of　the　inner　room。”
“But　I　had　fastened　the　door—I　had　the　key　in　my　pocket：　I　should　have　been　a　careless　shepherd　if　I　had　left　a　lamb—my　pet　lamb—so　near　a　wolf’s　den；　unguarded：　you　were　safe。”
“Will　Grace　Poole　live　here　still；　sir？”
“Oh　yes！　don’t　trouble　your　head　about　her—put　the　thing　out　of　your　thoughts。”
“Yet　it　seems　to　me　your　life　is　hardly　secure　while　she　stays。”
“Never　fear—I　will　take　care　of　myself。”
“Is　the　danger　you　apprehended　last　night　gone　by　now；　sir？”
“I　cannot　vouch　for　that　till　Mason　is　out　of　England：　nor　even　then。　To　live；　for　me；　Jane；　is　to　stand　on　a　crater…crust　which　may　crack　and　spue　fire　any　day。”
“But　Mr。　Mason　seems　a　man　easily　led。　Your　influence；　sir；　is　evidently　potent　with　him：　he　will　never　set　you　at　defiance　or　wilfully　injure　you。”
“Oh；　no！　Mason　will　not　defy　me；　nor；　knowing　it；　will　he　hurt　me—　but；　unintentionally；　he　might　in　a　moment；　by　one　careless　word；　deprive　me；　if　not　of　life；　yet　for　ever　of　happiness。”
“Tell　him　to　be　cautious；　sir：　let　him　know　what　you　fear；　and　show　him　how　to　avert　the　danger。”
He　laughed　sardonically；　hastily　took　my　hand；　and　as　hastily　threw　it　from　him。
“If　I　could　do　that；　simpleton；　where　would　the　danger　be？　Annihilated　in　a　moment。　Ever　since　I　have　known　Mason；　I　have　only　had　to　say　to　him　‘Do　that；’　and　the　thing　has　been　done。　But　I　cannot　give　him　orders　in　this　case：　I　cannot　say　‘Beware　of　harming　me；　Richard；’　for　it　is　imperative　that　I　should　keep　him　ignorant　that　harm　to　me　is　possible。　Now　you　look　puzzled；　and　I　will　puzzle　you　further。　You　are　my　little　friend；　are　you　not？”
“I　like　to　serve　you；　sir；　and　to　obey　you　in　all　that　is　right。”
“Precisely：　I　see　you　do。　I　see　genuine　contentment　in　your　gait　and　mien；　your　eye　and　face；　when　you　are　helping　me　and　pleasing　me—working　for　me；　and　with　me；　in；　as　you　characteristically　say；　‘all　that　is　right：’　for　if　I　bid　you　do　what　you　thought　wrong；　there　would　be　no　light…footed　running；　no　neat…handed　alacrity；　no　lively　glance　and　animated　plexion。　My　friend　would　then　turn　to　me；　quiet　and　pale；　and　would　say；　‘No；　sir；　that　is　impossible：　I　cannot　do　it；　because　it　is　wrong；’　and　would　bee　immutable　as　a　fixed　star。　Well；　you　too　have　power　over　me；　and　may　injure　me：　yet　I　dare　not　show　you　where　I　am　vulnerable；　lest；　faithful　and　friendly　as　you　are；　you　should　transfix　me　at　once。”
“If　you　have　no　more　to　fear　from　Mr。　Mason　than　you　have　from　me；　sir；　you　are　very　safe。”
“God　grant　it　may　be　so！　Here；　Jane；　is　an　arbour；　sit　down。”
The　arbour　was　an　arch　in　the　wall；　lined　with　ivy；　it　contained　a　rustic　seat。　Mr。　Rochester　took　it；　leaving　room；　however；　for　me：　but　I　stood　before　him。
“Sit；”　he　said；　“the　bench　is　long　enough　for　two。　You　don’t　hesitate　to　take　a　place　at　my　side；　do　you？　Is　that　wrong；　Jane？”
I　answered　him　by　assuming　it：　to　refuse　would；　I　felt；　have　been　unwise。
“Now；　my　little　friend；　while　the　sun　drinks　the　dew—while　all　the　flowers　in　this　old　garden　awake　and　expand；　and　the　birds　fetch　their　young　ones’　breakfast　out　of　the　Thornfield；　and　the　early　bees　do　their　first　spell　of　work—I’ll　put　a　case　to　you；　which　you　must　endeavour　to　suppose　your　own：　but　first；　look　at　me；　and　tell　me　you　are　at　ease；　and　not　fearing　that　I　err　in　detaining　you；　or　that　you　err　in　staying。”
“No；　sir；　I　am　content。”
“Well　then；　Jane；　call　to　aid　your　fancy：…　suppose　you　were　no　longer　a　girl　well　reared　and　disciplined；　but　a　wild　boy　indulged　from　childhood　upwards；　imagine　yourself　in　a　remote　foreign　land；　conceive　that　you　there　mit　a　capital　error；　no　matter　of　what　nature　or　from　what　motives；　but　one　ust　follow　you　through　life　and　taint　all　your　existence。　Mind；　I　don’t　say　a　crime；　I　am　not　speaking　of　shedding　of　blood　or　any　other　guilty　act；　which　might　make　the　perpetrator　amenable　to　the　law：　my　word　is　error。　The　results　of　what　you　have　done　bee　in　time　to　you　utterly　insupportable；　you　take　measures　to　obtain　relief：　unusual　measures；　but　neither　unlawful　nor　culpable。　Still　you　are　miserable；　for　hope　has　quitted　you　on　the　very　confines　of　life：　your　sun　at　noon　darkens　in　an　eclipse；　which　you　feel　will　not　leave　it　till　the　time　of　setting。　Bitter　and　base　associations　have　bee　the　sole　food　of　your　memory：　you　wander　here　and　there；　seeking　rest　in　exile：　happiness　in　pleasure—I　mean　in　heartless；　sensual　pleasure—such　as　dulls　intellect　and　blights　feeling。　Heart…weary　and　soul…withered；　you　e　home　after　years　of　voluntary　banishment：　you　make　a　new　acquaintance—how　or　where　no　matter：　you　find　in　this　stranger　much　of　the　good　and　bright　qualities　which　you　have　sought　for　twenty　years；　and　never　before　encountered；　and　they　are　all　fresh；　healthy；　without　soil　and　without　taint。　Such　society　revives；　regenerates：　you　feel　better　days　e　back—higher　wishes；　purer　feelings；　you　desire　to　remence　your　life；　and　to　spend　what　remains　to　you　of　days　in　a　way　more　worthy　of　an　immortal　being。　To　attain　this　end；　are　you　justified　in　overleaping　an　obstacle　of　custom—a　mere　conventional　impediment　which　neither　your　conscience　sanctifies　nor　your　judgment　approves？”
He　paused　for　an　answer：　and　what　was　I　to　say？　Oh；　for　some　good　spirit　to　suggest　a　judicious　and　satisfactory　response！　Vain　aspiration！　The　west　wind　whispered　in　the　ivy　round　me；　but　no　gentle　Ariel　borrowed　it