time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第58章

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　　〃It's　not　exactly　'why；'　dear　。　。　People　who　don't　respect　other　people's　property　will　do　anything　。　。　and　will　steal　anything　that's　not　nailed　down。　Even　if　they　have　no　use　for　it。〃　He　added；　〃Had　I　known　this　earlier；　I　would　have　given　them　no　chance。　Such　people　should　be　destroyed　on　sight。　The　problem　is　to　identify　them。〃
　　
　　Minerva；　Dora　is　the　only　woman　I　ever　loved　unreservedly。　I　don't　know　that　I　can　explain　why。　I　did　not　love　her　that　way　when　I　married　her；　she　had　not　had　a　chance　as　yet　to
　　
　　…teach　me　what　love　can　be。　Oh；　I　did　love　her；　but　it　was　the　love　of　a　doting　father　for　a　favorite　child　or　somewhat　like　the　love　one　can　lavish　on　a　pet。　…
　　
　　I　decided　to　marry　her　not　through　love　in　any　deepest　sense　but　simply　because　this　adorable　child　who　had　given　me　so　many　hours　of　happiness　wanted　something　very　badly
　　
　　…my　child…and　there　was　only　one　way　I　could　give　her　what　she　wanted　and　still　please　my　own　self…love。　So；　almost　coldly；　I　calculated　the　cost　and　decided　that　the　price　was　low　enough　that　I　could　let　her　have　what　she　wanted。　It　could　not　cost　me　much；　she　was　an　ephemeral。　Fifty；　sixty；　seventy；　at　the　most　eighty　years；　and　she　would　be　dead。　I　could　afford　to　spend　that　trivial　amount　of　time　to　make　my　adopted　daughter's　pitifully　short　life　happy…that's　how　I　figured　it。　It　wasn't　much；　and　I　could　afford　it。　So　be…it。　…
　　
　　All　the　rest　was　just　a　case　of　no　half　measures；　do　whatever　else　is　necessary　to　your　main　purpose。　I　told　you　some　of　the　possibilities；　I　may　not　have　mentioned　that　I　considered　taking　？ack　the　captaincy　of　the　Andy　I。　for　Dora's　lifetime；　have　Zaccur　Briggs　take　the　ground　side　of　the　partnership　or　buy　him　out　if　that　didn't　suit　him。　But　while　eighty…odd　years　in　a　starship　would　not　stonker　me；　to　Dora　it　would　be　a　lifetime　and　it　might　not　suit　her。　Besides；　a　ship　is　not　an　ideal　place　to　raise　kids…what　do　you　do　when　they　grow　up？　Drop'　them　off　somewhere　not　knowing　anything　but　ship's　routine？　Not　good。
　　
　　I　decided　that　the　husband　of　an　ephemeral　had　to　be　an　ephemeral；　in　every　way　possible　to　him。　The　corollaries　to　that　decision　caused　us　to　wind　up　in　Happy　Valley。
　　
　　Happy　Valley…　The　happiest　of　all　my　lives。　The　longer　I　was　privileged　to　live　with　Dora；　the　more　I　loved　her。　She　taught　me　to　love　by　loving　me；　and　I　learned…rather　slowly；　I　wasn't　too　good　a　pupil；　being　set　in　my　ways　and　lacking　her　natural　talent。　But　I　did　learn。　Learned　that　…supreme　happiness　lies　in　wanting　to　keep　another　person　safe　and　warm　and　happy；　and　being　privileged；　to　try。
　　
　　And　the　saddest；　too。　The　more　thoroughly　I　learned　this…　through　living　day…on　day　with　Dora…the　happier　I　was
　　
　　and　the　more　I　ached　in　one　corner　of　my　mind　with　certain　knowledge　that　this　could　be　only　a　brief　time　too　soon　over
　　
　　…and　when　it　was　over；　I　did　not　marry　again　for　almost　a　hundred　years。　Then　I　did；　for　Dora　taught　me　to　face　up　to　death；　too。　She　was　as　aware　of　her　own　death；　of　the　certain　briefness　of　her　life；　as　I　was。　But　she　taught　me　to　live　now；　not　to　let　anything　sully　today　。　。　until　at　last　I　got　over　the　sadness　of　being　condemned　to　live。
　　
　　We　had　a　wonderfully　good　time！　Working　our　arses　off；　always　too　much　to　do；　and　enjoying　every　minute。　Never　too　rushed　to　enjoy　life　no　matter　what。　Sometimes　just　pat…ass　and　squeeze…titty　as　I　hurried　through　the　kitchen；　ile　acknowledging　it；　sometimes　a'　lazy　hour　on　the　roof　invested　in　watching　sunset　and　stars　and　moons；　usually　with　〃Eros〃　to　make　it　sweeter。　…
　　
　　I　guess　you　could　say　that　sex　was　our　only　active　amusement　for　a　number　of　years　（and　never　stopped　being　in　first　place　as　Dora　was　as　enthusiastic　at　seventy　as　at　seventeen…　just　not　as　limber）。　I　was　usually　too　tired　to　play　good　chess　even　though　I　made　us　a　set　of　chessmen；　we　had　no　other　games　and　probably　would　not　have　played　them　anyhow…　too　busy。　Oh；　we　did　do　other　things；　often　one　of　us　would　read　aloud　while　the　other　knitted　or　cooked　or　something。　Or　we　would　sing　together；　coonjining　the　rhythm　while　we　pitched　grain　or　manure。
　　
　　We　worked　together　as　much　as　possible；　division　of　labor　came　only　from　natural　limits。　I　can't　bear　a　baby　or　suckle　it；　but'　I　can　do　anything　else　for　a　child。　Dora　could　not　do　some　th~ga　that　I　did　because　they　were　too　heavy　for　her；　especially　…when　she　was　far　gone　in　pregnancy。　She　had　more　talent　fos~ooking　than　I　（I　had　centuries　more　experience　but　not　her　louch）；　and　she　cpuld　cook　while　she　took　care　of　a　baby　and　tended　the　smallest　children；　ones　too　small　to　join　me　in　the　fields。　But　I　did　cook；　especially　breakfast　while　she
　　
　　got　the　kids　…organized；　…and　she　did　help　work　the　farm　ard　especially。the　truck　garden。　She　knew　nothing　of　farming；　she　learned。　…
　　
　　Nor　did　she　know　construction…she　learned。　While　I　did　most　of　the　high　work；　she　made　most　of　the　adobe　bricks；　always　with　the　right　amount　of　straw。　Adobe　was　not　well　suited　to　the　climate…too　much　rain　and　it　can　be　discouraging　to　see　a　wall　start　to　melt　because　an　unexpected　rain　has　caught　you　before　you've　topped　it。
　　
　　But…　you　build　from　what　you　have；　and　it　helped　that　I　had　the　tqps　from　the　wagons　to　peg　against　the　most　exposed　walls；　until　…I　worked　out　a　way　to　waterproof　an　adobe　wall。　I　did　not　consider　a　log　cabin；　good　timber　was　too　far　away。　It　took　the　mules　and　me　a　full　day　to　bring　in　two　logs；　whi~。h　made　them　too　expensive　for　most　construction。　Instead；　I　made　do　with　smaller　stuff　that　grew　along　the　banks　of　Buck's　River　and　dragged　in　logs　only　for　beams。
　　
　　Nor　did　I　want　to　build　a　house　that　was　not　as　near　firep？oof　as　I　could　make　it。　Baby　Dora　had　once　almost　been　burned　to　death；　I　would　not　risk　it　again　for　Dora；　or　for　her　children。
　　
　　But　how　to　make　a　roof　both　watertight　and　fireproof　nearly　stumped　me。　…
　　
　　I　walked　past　the　answer　hundreds　of　times　before　I　recognized　it。　When　wind　and　weather　and　rot　and　lopers　and　insects　have　done　their　worst　on　a　dead　dragon；　what　is　left　is　almost　indestructible。　I　discovered　this　when　I　tried　to　bum　what　was　left　of　a　big　brute　that　was　unpleasantly　close　to　our　pound。　I　never　did　find　out　why　this　was　so。　Perhaps　the　biochemistry　of　those　dragons　has　been　investigated　since　then；　but　I　had　neither　equipment　nor　time　nor　interest；　I　was　too　busy　scratching　a　living　for　my　family　and　was　simply　delighted　to　learn　that　it　was　true。　Belly　hide　I　cut　into　fireproof；　waterproof　tarpaulins；　back　and　sides　made　excellent　roofing。　Later　I　found　many　uses　for　the　bones。
　　
　　We　both　taught　school；　indoors　and　out。　Perhaps　our　kids　had　a　weird　education　…　…　but　a　girl　who　can　shape　a　fortable　and　handsome　saddle　starting　with　a　dead；…　mule　and　not　much　else；　solve　quadratics　in　her　head；　shoot　straight　with　gun　or　arrow；　cook　an　omelet　that　is　light　and　tastye　spout
　　
　　第44节
　　
　　…　page　after　page　of　Shakespeare；　butcher　a　hog　and　cure　it　can't　be　called　ignorant　by　New　Beginnings　standards。　All　our
　　
　　girls　and　boys　could　do　all　of　that　and　more。　I　must　admit…　that　they　spoke　a　rather　lorid　brand　of　English；　espe　~ialiy。　…　after　th鐈　set　up　the　New　Globe　Theater　and　worked　straight　through　every　one　of　old　Bill's　plays。　No　doubt　this　gave　them　odd　notions　of　Old　E。irth's　culture　and　history；　but　I　could　not　see　that　it　hurt　them。　We　had　only　a　few　bound　books。　mostly　reference；　the　dozen…odd　〃fun〃　books　were　worked　to　death。
　　
　　Our　kids　saw　nothing　strange　in　learning　to　read　from　As　You　Like　It。　No　one　told　them　that　it　was　too　hard　for　them；　and　they　ate　it　up；　finding　〃tongues　in　trees；　books　in　the　running…brooks；　sermons　in　stones；　and　good　in　every　thing。〃
　　
　　Although　it　did　sound　odd　to　hear　a　five…year…old　girl　speak　in　scansion　and　rolling　periods；　polysyllables　falling　gracefully　from　her　baby　lips。　Still；　I　preferred　it　to　〃Run；　Spot；　run。　See　Spot　run〃　from　a　later　era　than　Bill's。
　　
　　Second　only　to　Shakespeare　in　popularity；　and　first　whenever　Dora　was　swelling　up　again；　were　my　medical　books；　especially　those　on　anatomy；　obstetrics；　and　gynecology。　Any　birth　was　an　event…kittens；　piglets；　foals；　puppies；　kds…but　a　new　baby　out　of　Dora　was　a　super…event；　one　that　always　put　more　thumbprints　on　that　standard　OB　illustration；　a　cross　section　of　mother　and　baby　at　term。　I　finally　removed　that　one　and　several　plates　that　followed　it；　those　showing　normal　delivery；　and　pcsted　them；　to　save　wear　and　tear　on　my　books…　then　announced　that　they　could　look　at　those　pictures　all　they　wanted　to；　but　that　to　touch　one　was　a　spankin~　offense…　then　was　forced　to　spank　Iseult　to　keep　justice　gven；　whi。：h　hurt　her　old　father　far　more　than　it　did　her　baby　bot~tom　even　though　she　saved　my　face　by　applauding　my　gentle　paddling　with　loud　screams　and　tears。
　　
　　My　medical　books　had　one　odd　effect。　Our　kids　knew　from　babyhood　all　the　correct　English　monosyllables　for　human　anatomy　and　function；　Helen　Mayberry　had　never　used　slang　with　Baby　Dora　Dora　spoke　as　correctly　in　front　of　her　children。　But　once　they　could　read　my　books；　intellectual　snobbery　set　in；　they　loved　those　Latin　polysyllables。　If　I　said　〃womb〃　（as　I　always　did）；　some　six…year…old　would　inform　me　with　quiet　authority　that　the　book　said　〃uterus。〃　Or　Undine　might　rush　in　with　the　news　that　Big　Billy　Whiskers　was　〃copulating〃　with　Silky；　whereupon　the　kids　would　rush　out　to　the　goat　pen　to　watch。　Somewhere　around　their　middle　teens
　　
　　they　usually　recovered　frbm　this　nonsense　and　went　back　to　speaking　English　as　their　parents　spoke　it；　so　I　guess　it　didn't　hurt　them。
　　
　　The　reason　my　own　goatiness　was　not　a　spectator　sport　for　children　that　all　the　animals　afforded　was；　I　think；　only　my　own　unreasoned　but　long…standing　habits。　I　…don't　think　it　would　have　fretted　Dora　because　it　did　not　seem　to　fret　her　the　times　it　happened…as　it　did；　privacy　was　scarce　and　got　scarcer　until　I　got　our　big　house　built　some　twelve　or　thirteen　years　after　we　entered　the　valley…time　indefinite　because　for　years　I　wo~ked　on　it　when　I　could；　then　we　moved　into　it　unfinished　because　we　were　bulging　the　walls　of　our　first　house　and　another　baby　（Ginny）　was　on　the　way。
　　
　　Dora　was　untroubled　by　lack　of　privacy　because　her　sweet　lechery　was　utterly　innocent；　whereas　mine　…was　scarred　by　the　culture　I　grew　up　in…a　culture　psychotic　throughout　and　especially　on　this　subject。　Dora　did　much　to　heal　those　scars。　But　I　never　achieved　her　angelic　innocence。
　　
　　I　do　not　mean　the　innocence　of　childish　ignorance；　I　mean　the　true　innocence　of　an　intelligent；　informed；　adult　woman　who　has　no　evil　in　her。　Dora　was　as　tough　as　she　was　innocent；　always　aware　that　she　was　responsible　for　her　own　actions。　She　knew　that　〃the　tail　goes　with　the　hide；　that　you　can't　be　a　little　bit　pregnant；　that　it　is　no　kindness　to　hang　a　man　slowly。〃　She　could　make　a　hard　decision　without　dithering；　then　stand　up　to　the　consequences　if　it　turned　out　that　her　judgment　was　faulty。　She　could　apologize　to　a　child；　or　to　a　mule。　But　that　was　rarely　necessary；　her　self…honesty　did　not　often　lead　her　into　faulty　decisions。
　　
　　Nor　did　she　flagellate　herself　when　she　made　a　mistake。　She　corrected　it　as　best　she　could；　learned　from　it；　did　not　lie　awake　over　it。
　　
　　While　her　ancestry　had　given　her　the　potential；　Helen　Mayberry　must　be　credited　with　having　guided　it　and　allowed　it　to　develop。　Helen　Mayberry　was　sensitive　and　sensible。　e　to　think　of　it；　the　traits　plement。　A　person　who　is　sensitive　but　not　sensible　is　all　mixed　~up；　cannot　function　properly。　A　person　who　is　sensible　but　not　sensitive…I've　never　met　one　and　am　not　sure　such　a　person　can　exist。
　　
　　Helen　Mayberry　was　born　on　Earth　but　had　shucked　off　her
　　
　　…bad　background　when　~he　migrated；　she　did　not　pass　on　to　Baby　Dora　and　growing…girl　Dora　the　sick　standards　of　a　dying　culture。　I　knew　some　of　this　from　Helen　herself；　but　1
　　
　　learned　more　about　Helen　from　Dora　the　Woman。　Over　the　long　cOurse　of　getting　acquainted　with　this　stranger　I　had　married　（married　couples　always　start　out　as　strangers　no　matter　how　long　they've　known　each　other）　I　learned　that　Dora　knew　exactly　the　relationship　that　had　once　existed　between　Helen　Mayberry　and　me；　including　the　fact　that　it　was　economic　as　well　as　social　and　physical。
　　
　　This　did　not　make　Dora　jealous　of　〃Aunt〃　Helen；　jealousy　was　only　a　word　to　Dora；　one　that　meant　no　more　to　her　than　a　sunset　does　to　an　earthworm；　the　capacity　to　feel　jealousy　had　never　been　developed　in　her。　She　regarded　the　arrangements　between　Helen　and　me　as　natural；　reasonable；　and　appropriate。　Indeed　I　feel　certain　that　Helen's　example　was　the　clinching　factor　in　Dora's　picking　me　as　her　mate；　as　it　could　not　have　been　my　charm　and　beauty；　both　negligible。　Helen　had　not　taught　Dora　that　sex　was　anything　sacred；　she　had　taught　her；　by　precept　and　example；　that　sex　is　a　way　for　people　to　be　happy　together。
　　
　　Ta…ke　those　three　vultures　we　killed…　Instead　of　what　they　were；　had　they　been　good　men　and　decent…oh；　such　men　as　Ira　and　Galahad…and　given　the　same　circumstances；　four　men　wit